this king of the jungle
can't find his pride
he's put on a few pounds
kinda empty inside

this tortoise sees him wander
then, their paths collide
tortoise says "you look spent.
hop on the shell for a ride."

this lion leaps on
his heavy paws thud
tortoise struggles from the weight
but the companion feels good
this lion starts in
on his sad, sad life
and these sad, sad days
lost his sad, sad wife
how he was always in pain
scavenged from sun to moon
thinks ill-fortune follows
thinks he'll die of heartbreak soon

tortoise listens so well
feels his pain as her own
tells him she's so sorry
he doesn't have to be alone

but tortoise is thirsty now
she could use a massage
did she pick up a sad sack?
was the companion a mirage?

but now he claims he loves her
wants this shell-ride forever
he appeals to her worth
his flattery turns clever
and his mane gives her warmth
plus, come on, he's a king
perhaps they're perfect together
perhaps he's everything

lion shifts on the ride
says "your shell's way too hard
you walk pretty damn slow
we ain't gotten very far
i wish your claws were painted pink
wish you had straight hair
wish you saw God how i see God
we'd be a pretty good pair.
if only you cared more
of my sad, sad pain
but i don't think you care for me."
just then, it starts to rain.

tortoise raises her umbrella
to shield her new friend
then tortoise trudges on
but she slows from the wind
the rain blinds her sight
her steps slow in the mud
she could really use some help
as the path starts to flood
but lion keeps talking
of his sad, sad life
as tortoise prays for strength
to keep them both alive
"please, bless this union
please, take away his pain
keep my love safe"
as it rains and it rains

and the water rises
and tortoise starts to drown
and lion floats on her shell
can't see they're far from the ground
and tortoise grows quiet
she can't make a sound
she's stopped breathing
perhaps she's dead now

lion starts to get wet
damn tortoise is to blame
the water tickles his paws
and dampens his mane

from the water she rises
spirit separates from shell
she knew she had no damn business
and she knew very well
shouldn't have carried that weight
because the last time she fell,
that other lion was fucking crazy
fell under his lion spell
but she's addicted to filling needs
got no lion to blame
her and the gotdamn Giving Tree
just one in the gotdamn same

as lion sinks into the deep
he's lost the most precious thing
but thank the good Lord
that he's still king.

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